Loneliness and grief

Grief is a natural response to loss. It can be felt in many ways. Grief’s impact can be emotional, social, spiritual, physical and financial. It is as individual as the person you loved and lost. Grieving while living away from family and friends can be especially difficult. This is a place where you can share your thoughts, and get ideas on how to cope. It is here for you to get support and validation.

Loneliness and grief

Postby dscowan » Tue Jul 09, 2013 8:27 am

Loneliness is often part of the grief journey. The latest bereavement center blog is about the difference between loneliness and solitude.

Solitude is a choice and typically, loneliness is not. When someone you love dies, you are alone and it was not a choice.

Does the feeling of being alone always turn to loneliness? Not always. Some people are more comfortable than others being alone and do not view it as a negative, bad, or scary thing. In fact, some people treasure it and see it more as solitude and not loneliness. They also choose when they want to be with other people. For others, they feel very alone in their grief and can’t find a way to fill the void. Even being with other people cannot always help this feeling of loneliness.

Here are some ways you can dissipate loneliness: join a garden club or other types of clubs, volunteer for an organization, attend synagogue or church, participate in a grief support group whether in person or online. Please share what you have done that has been helpful?
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Re: Loneliness and grief

Postby doodle123 » Fri Jul 12, 2013 3:01 pm

I am 11 months into this horrible journey. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer on 8-1-12. He passed away on our 25th wedding anniversary. I am not a very social person. We always did everything together. My husband was the out going one and he handled every situation with grace and charm. He had a wonderful sense of humor too. So, I did not join a bereavement group in person, but I did find a wonderful group on-line. I was afraid that I would just cry and cry if I had to do this in person and listen to all the other sad stories. Not to say that I don't cry with this group on-line. But, it allows you to read the posts and comment when you want to. I have made many people that I now consider friends. They are there for me, and most importantly.... they have walked in my shoes. This group has really helped me along my journey. And the other great feature of on-line groups, is that you can be with them any time day or night. These people are from all over the world, but the one thing we all have in common is grief. I would suggest that others also take this step, whether it be in person or on-line, as Diane suggested.
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Re: Loneliness and grief

Postby slakin » Wed Sep 10, 2014 3:23 pm

In talking to bereaved individuals, I usually ask who they identify as their support system. Frequently I hear the response, "no one". The loved one they lost was their only significant connection. Often all our time and our identity are tied to our caregiving role. Now, in addition to mourning the loss, we are faced with creating a system of relationships that we all need to get through life.

At a time when grief zaps our energy, how can we put ourselves out there in the hopes of finding people we want to be with? Start simply by making a list of interests you have or have thought of exploring. Choose one and invite someone you don't know very well to accompany you for the activity or join a club or volunteer organization where your interest can be fostered in a social situation. Or perhaps reconnect with an old friend or a relative you've lost touch with. He may be happy to have someone reach out to him. Try one thing at a time and know that every effort might not succeed.

While grief sometimes leaves us feeling at loose ends, making a small goal and working towards it will help you feel more in control of at least one part of your life. As you se from reading others' comments here, you are not alone in your feelings.
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