Thankfulness

Grief is a natural response to loss. It can be felt in many ways. Grief’s impact can be emotional, social, spiritual, physical and financial. It is as individual as the person you loved and lost. Grieving while living away from family and friends can be especially difficult. This is a place where you can share your thoughts, and get ideas on how to cope. It is here for you to get support and validation.

Thankfulness

Postby dscowan » Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:03 am

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and you may be wondering what you have to be thankful for this year. Your deceased loved one left you with many gifts. Remembering is a way to honor your beloved and keep him or her in your life.

Think about what you have learned from the person who died? What life lessons were passed on? How many hugs did that person give you? Or how many meals and deep conversations were experienced? Who taught you how to be a mother, daughter, sister, or aunt – or how to act and dress appropriately? Who cuddled with you? Who did you take long quiet walks with? Who taught you that secret recipe? Who gave you bliss? For these you may be grateful. You may even want to write a thank you letter.

Consider the growth and changes that come with your grief as gifts. Think about the gifts from your deceased love one….the hugs, the love, the long walks and talks, and the lessons learned. And if you are not at this point in your grief, remember there is no test, no right or wrong way to grieve. You might just want to crawl under the blanket and mindlessly watch the parade. You can pick any day to be your day of giving thanks.

Please share what you are thankful for.
dscowan
 
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Re: Thankfulness

Postby andrearivagetz » Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:06 pm

This time of Holidays and Thanksgiving can be challenging when loss is at the center of your life. Sometimes it can help to slow things down and focus on the small moments of gratitude first. This holiday season, try to stay in the moment. Taste the first cup of coffee or tea in the morning and be mindful of the warmth it brings. Notice your own breathing and allow it to center you away from your worry. Feel the fresh air on your skin or the warm water on your hands as you rinse dishes. Know that you are here now. Allow these small moments of pleasure and presence to move you toward healing that the death of your loved one demands. Know that being able to notice the small moments of grace are enough for now. In time, these moments may become more frequent and obvious in your life, as may the gifts your loved has bestowed in your heart forever. Are there mindful moments of gratitude that help you each day? Please share
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Re: Thankfulness

Postby LDials » Thu Dec 05, 2013 7:27 pm

Honoring your loved one during the holidays by lighting a candle can be very helpful. You can also take this special activity a step further by painting your own remembrance candle. I have found that adults, teens and children find meaning in painting their remembrance candle.
Here are a few steps to paint your own candle. I was privileged to have been taught this activity by our art therapist at the Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center. Please review this following link at http://www.hospicewr.org/grief-loss/support-groups to see other art therapy activities offered by our Bereavement Center.
1) Buy a white or ivory pillar candle, rubbing alcohol, lint free cloth, acrylic paint, and a candle painting medium
2) Put some rubbing alcohol on the cloth and wipe down the candle
3) Mix the acrylic paint colors with the candle painting medium at a one to one ratio
4) Paint your candle and let it dry
Please share creative ways you have used to remember and honor your loved ones over the holidays.
LDials
 
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Re: Thankfulness

Postby kitkat5 » Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:13 am

As Passover and Easter approach, we can once again ask "how can I feel grateful when my loved one has died?" Despite the pain of grief and loss, one thing to remember is being thankful that this special loved one was in your life. Think about things you learned from this person, ways in which they made your life sweeter and richer, and the value of loving this person not only as a family member, but perhaps also a beloved friend. Look for the small things in life that you are thankful for and although it is perfectly okay to still grieve and mourn your loss, try to remember that grief is about love and being able to give and receive love is something to be extremely grateful for.
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Re: Thankfulness

Postby kincaid59 » Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:48 am

It’s often difficult to be thankful when we’ve lost someone very important in our lives. The main task of grieving is to be able to adjust to the world without that person in it. So gratitude doesn’t come from focusing on the loss, but focusing on the good, on who that person was and how they contributed to our life and the world.

Easier said than done. Memories are often bitter sweet and remembering can trigger anger and sadness that the person is gone. But when we remember all the good deeds done, we can find that our loved one continues to live on, helping us to find our way. To honor their lives gives purpose to their life. Love does not die. Hold on to your memories and give thanks for what was.
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