What to Say?

Pregnancy loss generally includes miscarriage, stillbirth, and neo-natal (death occurring in the first 28 days of life) death. Society is starting to understand the impact of grief on an individual, but, when it comes to pregnancy loss, if the loss is even acknowledged, it is often minimized. Pregnancy loss is a real loss! Those who have experienced a pregnancy loss experience the same symptoms and intensity of grief as any other type of loss. In addition, there are some unique grief issues that accompany pregnancy loss which are not present with other types of deaths. Concerns range from subsequent pregnancies to relationship issues. These and many other issues can complicate one’s grief journey. If you or someone you care about has experienced a pregnancy loss, use this discussion group to express your feelings, find support, and learn more about this subject.

What to Say?

Postby slakin » Tue May 26, 2015 7:56 pm

While you are dealing with your own sense of loss over your newborn, you are foever being asked "how many children do you have?" Parents struggle with being honest and mentioning the child they lost ad then having to deal with the sadness or discomfort of the listener. Or not mentioning the child and questioning whether this is disrespectful or denying the value of that too short life. One mom was questioned about her pregnancy outcome over several checkout lines in a grocery store. This is likely not a time when you can feel comfortable going into what happened. Similarly, at times you might not feel like explaining to someone you hardly know what you have experienced. You have the right to decide what protects your feelings. At other times, it might be very important to acknowledge the missing member of your family. Develop a way to cut the conversation short if you don't want to do into details but, if you find an empathetic ear, it may help to talk about how important that child is to you. How have you handled these sometimes awkward questions?
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