Loss of a sister and best friend

Grief is a natural response to loss. It can be felt in many ways. Grief’s impact can be emotional, social, spiritual, physical and financial. It is as individual as the person you loved and lost. Grieving while living away from family and friends can be especially difficult. This is a place where you can share your thoughts, and get ideas on how to cope. It is here for you to get support and validation.

Loss of a sister and best friend

Postby SueKach3533 » Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:13 am

I lost my sister and best friend to cancer 10 months ago. I still to this day have a very hard time with the loss. I have had many changes within 1 year and wonder if this is why I am having such a hard time, or if I need to seek individual counselling, or if this will pass with time. My husbands father fell ill and we found that he had stage 4 cancer and the doctors gave him 6 months to live....I ended up getting laid off from my job and because of this was able to help my father in law with doctor apts, grocery shopping, cleaning and just your day to day activities...about 8 months later we found out that my sister also has stage 4 cancer and was given 3 yrs. My sister and I always had a very close relationship, we did everything together, raised our kids, went on family vacations, spoke on the phone everyday....after she was diagnosed with cancer, I didn't think it was possible, but we became even closer. Well it has been 10 months and I am having a very hard time still...I will go for 3 days doing nothing but crying...Is this normal?? I lost my father in law in August, then in October lost an Aunt that I was close to, then the following May my sister. I recently was told that her husband is involved with someone and this is really adding to my grief and I am trying very hard to accept this, but it just seems too soon for me...I know this is good for him , I just feel that I cannot deal with this right now. I would like some advise if I am wrong for feeling this way or if this is normal?
SueKach3533
 
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Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2015 9:26 am

Re: Loss of a sister and best friend

Postby dscowan » Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:45 am

Hi SueKach3533;
You certainly have a lot going on. Yes, please be assured that your grief reactions are normal. You have had multiple losses and each loss is unlike any other. The loss of a sibling is a difficult loss. She was your best friend and you have a shared history with her that you do not have with others in your life. You asked if you should seek counseling. This is something you may want to explore to see if it's right for you. You may also want to consider a grief support group. There are many options available. Remember you do not have to grieve alone.
Take care,
Diane
dscowan
 
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Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:55 pm

Re: Loss of a sister and best friend

Postby dscowan » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:47 am

Sibling relationships are like no other. There is a commonality that does not exist in other relationships. When a sibling dies, the loss can be overpowering. Even as adults, siblings are often thought of as the “forgotten mourners.” Friends and neighbors offer comfort and support to mom and dad, but often neglect siblings, disenfranchising their grief.
Guilt and anger can accompany sibling grief. As adults age and go their separate ways, communication and maintaining relationships often go by the wayside. When a sibling dies, the surviving sibling may feel as though they hadn’t done enough for the relationship and guilt sets in. Roles often change. Surviving siblings may wonder who will take over the care of aging parents or surviving nieces and nephews.
Positive change also occurs after the death of a sibling. Surviving siblings can maintain a connection with their deceased brothers and sisters by remembering them and continuing their legacy.
Please share how you have continued your relationship with your deceased sibling.
dscowan
 
Posts: 38
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:55 pm


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