Grief waves

Grief is a natural response to loss. It can be felt in many ways. Grief’s impact can be emotional, social, spiritual, physical and financial. It is as individual as the person you loved and lost. Grieving while living away from family and friends can be especially difficult. This is a place where you can share your thoughts, and get ideas on how to cope. It is here for you to get support and validation.

Grief waves

Postby KarenH » Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:49 pm

Recently I read an article entitled, "Crying in Public (aka sometimes socks are sad)". It discussed grief triggers that come up in unexpectedly...grocery store items, songs, scents, places, etc., that may come days, weeks, and even years after the death of your loved one. The author also discussed the awful and liberating experience of letting the tears flow in the presence of strangers (specifically, "uh oh...my mascara!). She also reminded the reader to acknowledge that sometimes the triggers we find in unexpected places can also bring a smile with the tears, even if it takes a little while. Having recently had a similar experience myself, I found myself nodding along with every sentence. Have any of you had this happen? We'd love to hear from you.
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Re: Grief waves

Postby d_butler » Fri Oct 16, 2015 2:10 pm

Experiencing the waves of grief are hard for children and adolescents. Many do not have the vocabulary to explain the feelings of intensity they may experience when a grief trigger occurs. A grief trigger can often occur without warning. It is important to explain to children and adolescents what a grief trigger is and how to prepare for these intense feelings. Being mindful of holidays, birthdays or the anniversary date of their loved one's death can help alleviate anxiety and provide the child with a sense of control. Be sensitive to their needs.Reassure them that the waves of grief they are experiencing are normal.
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Re: Grief waves

Postby shamme-hwr » Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:19 pm

The unexpected waves are something that used to terrify me. I am not one who can typically have a quiet cry as I walk through a public place. My tears tend to flow with abundance, often accompanied by some sound effects! I was talking with several people about this last week due there being a memorial service that we all wanted to attend, but many of us were afraid that we would "lose it" in front of others. I went to this event and looked around at all of those brave souls in attendance and witnessed a beautiful thing. There was such an understanding of emotion and experience that was expressed through those tears. Strangers hugged one another, squeezed an arm, or just nodded a head to affirm that they are familiar with that pain, and give a brief moment of support. I have had many people walking through their grief have these moments in more unexpected places, like a store or doctors office, or church, and have similar nods or squeezes. They have told me that once you have been through it and know, you can often see it in others and hope that they know that it is ok to let those tears flow whenever and wherever they show up.
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